Friday, December 30, 2011

Nehemiah 2:18, "Let us rise up and build."

And I told them of the hand of my God which had been good upon me, and also of the king's words that he had spoken to me. So they said, "Let us rise up and build." Then they set their hands to this good work. NKJV
Nehemiah inspired his downtrodden people. Nehemiah told the people and the leaders of his intent, his vision, his will, and he filled them with willingness and faith by telling of God's work and presence in his own life and telling of the tangible display of God's blessing on the task. He gave them realistic proof of the projects feasibility and a reason to believe this undertaking was not that of a dreamer incapable of bringing the task to completion by sharing the king's words.

He inspired them to confidence and a willingness to take the steps in beginning a monumental project with enthusiasm; and with that confidence and spirit they began the work.

They went beyond setting their minds to it, "they set their hands to [the] good work."

A few weeks ago several of us went to the Benjamin Bloom children's hospital here in El Salvador to pass out some presents, and at the end of our visit as we left Violeta told us some things about the hospital, including it's history and current needs. I began thinking about things that could be done for the hospital, what I could do to help the hospital, and began wanting to put together a fundraiser when we come back to the states; but I don't know what would be involved in putting together a fundraiser or the difficulties with the size and format I have in mind.

Yesterday I spent some time putting together an outline for a project proposal after spending most of the church service unable to think about anything else.

I don't know everything that would need to be done for a large scale fundraiser, but I can research and I can ask those who do know about these things for their advice; I can spend more time polishing up the outline of my idea and getting what information I am able to find; I can, while still in El Salvador and able to speak face to face, present the idea to Violeta, seeking her thoughts on the project and her insight, but first and foremost her approval and aid.

I can put in a serious effort to make this a reality and let others see that I am willing and wanting for God to use me in this work, and with His blessing and hand in the work those who are able to support it will come up alongside as I seek them out.

I will set my hands to this good work and be prepared for the more hands that come.

Studies that share my heart: Kayla's, Colin's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.
Amen.

Nehemiah 1:4, before the God of heaven.

So it was, when I heard these words, that I sat down and wept, and mourned for many days; I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven. NKJV

- Private -

Friday, December 23, 2011

A change of pace, a change of book.

The Gilberts left for a few weeks to visit home and relatives, so it was decided that our half of the group (Chris, Kayla, Jaymi, Colin and myself) would stay at San Martin in the mean time. With the change of living local we also decided to change up our IBS, leaving James until Randy and Karen come back to join us and jumping from New Testament to Old with the wonderful history of a city rebuilt and the man blessed by God to spearhead the effort, Nehemiah. It isn't a verse-by-verse study, but the plan is for us to go through the book, one or two verses looked at per-chapter, before Randy and Karen get back.

Unfortunately with the change of pace (and slightly more restricted or less available internet access) I allowed myself to fall out of getting my studies up in a more timely manner and had not realized it had been so long since last uploading a study.

I pray that reading these IBS's will do you just as much good as they did myself in writing and study through the Holy Spirit.

Feliz Navidad!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

James 2:13, no mercy.

For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. NKJV
There are times when we really don't feel like showing mercy. We just don't.

Someone makes a mistake that causes us a serious problem.

Someone doesn't just make a mistake, they do something seriously foolish.

Someone steals from us.

They hurt us, and they should have known better.

They hurts us. Intentionally.

They betray us.

They hurt someone we love.

.
.
.


A plane is flown into a building.

In the eyes of God it does not matter what sin is committed, what transgression is made or what law is broken. He is perfect and by sinning even once with the 'smallest of things', such as eating something we had been told not to, just a single bite of fruit, we become marred. We become enslaved to sin. We fall short of the holy perfection of God and can no longer stand in His presence, let alone live with Him.

Yet God in His mercy did not simply poor out judgment. He provided an escape clause, a loophole, a plan for our redemption, and at a great cost to Himself that would come with pain. Rather than pouring out judgment instantly He waited. When sin was committed the judgment was due; there was no need to wait for Calvary.

But God chose to. He chose to wait for such a time as we might come to Him. Despite the sadness we bring to Him, our repeated betrayals and our murder of His perfect son He chose to wait that the plan might come to fruition. He allowed us to hurt Him that, while in His perfection justice must be rendered, there could still be a plan for lawful and acceptable mercy.

God is perfect in His justice, but He is also perfect in His love and mercy. Where justice reacts to transgression, mercy reacts to justice. Justice must always be fulfilled, but mercy finds its way.

In matters of law justice rules. As is said, “Justice is blind”. In a system of law there is no place for mercy because a system of law is imperfect, unliving, unloving, an abstract object without feeling. But we as humans are capable of mercy because we are on the same playing field, we have all transgressed though the individual transgressions may be differ. We are capable of mercy because in our transgression we have been shown mercy.

By law, by justice, a transgression cannot be overlooked. If it were to be overlooked than justice would have been perverted, broken and unfulfilled.

But because we are capable of justice, but as being in the image of God, like God, are not justice alone, we can show mercy by choice. As we are not perfect little may need to be done for that mercy to be offered. God is perfect and in His mercy created the way for our transgressions to be blotted out, because to simply say, “You did bad but I can forgive you.” would leave the sin there.

We as humans are all sinful, all imperfect, all needing mercy, and in that we are capable of showing our imperfect mercy. After all, what right does one criminal have to judge another?

Today someone will do something that affects me, hurts me or causes me some displeasure and I will, as always, have a choice: Will I show mercy or won't I? Justice has its place, but do I have the right to act as judge? I would much prefer when the time comes to show the love of Christ and be a witness and testimony of His glory by showing the love and mercy He has shown sinful me to those who truly have sinned only before God. [Psalm 51]

Studies to share: Jaymi's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.
Amen.

James 2:12, do as those who will be judged. . .

So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty. NKJV
I had to read through several different translations of James 2:12 before finally understanding exactly what it is saying. Instead of the word 'Liberty', the Holman Christian Standard Bible uses the word 'Freedom': and that's when it clicked.

How does someone act when they are judged by the law, but instead of being judged by a law of condemnation that binds, are judged by a law of liberty and freedom?

As can be the case when Christian liberty is brought up, some take it as license to do as they please, unmindful of the things of God. However, the Bible debunks this line of thought. [1 Corinthians 8:9; 1 Corinthians 10:23-33; Galatians 5:13; James 1:25; 1 Peter 2:11-25; 2 Peter 2:18-20]

So what does it mean to 'speak and do' as someone who will be judged by the law of liberty?

We are still being judged with no control of the outcome and judgment, but instead of being judged by the law that binds we are judged by the law of freedom. Therefore there is a humility we should have, as we are still judged, but judged with a law we can take joy in without the strength of our own actions.

With humility, submission in thanks because it is right to the will and desire of Him who offers us freely the 'better law' that gives us life.

Those who are judged by the law of liberty should “so speak and so do” with joy as they are made free from death and condemnation, by it given life and liberty.

We are given liberty to behave without worry and live with light hearts by joy, as there are no worries that compare to the condemnation we have been freed from.

We are to speak with mercy, love and kindness, and do likewise. We who were unable to fulfill the former law and are undeserving in every way to be given the law of liberty, yet have been offered it with love and kindness by the mercy of the perfect God; who stepped down and became the perfect man; to suffer and die as the perfect sacrifice; all out of love wanting to show us kindness and give us mercy by making us perfect in Him.

If we have been given such a good gift, shouldn't we act likewise? We are no more deserving of it than any other despite our thoughts and feelings at times to the contrary; so if a perfect God was willing to be a servant and sacrifice for us, we should not only be willing, but glad to do likewise for others who are just as undeserving!

I am so thankful to God for every opportunity I am given to bless others, to show love and kindness and to act with mercy even when, and especially when, those opportunities may come at some cost to myself so that I can emulate Christ who payed the greater price in saving me; and I ask forgiveness for those times when I fall short of His example, when I do not show the love, mercy and kindness I am called to, when I lack humility in my undeservedness, when I do not submit myself to His will.

I pray that You continue to sanctify me, change me and make me more like you everyday and give new opportunities for me to do as you have done, with a heart like yours, willing even to bleed.

Studies I'd like to share: Paige's, Michelle's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.
Amen.

James 2:10-11, he is guilty of all.

For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. For He who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. NKJV
The law isn't a bunch of individual points that can be crossed without crossing the others; it is a complete whole.

If you cut the ribbon around a present it doesn't matter if you cut 'this part' or 'that part', whether you cut it on the same side of the box as the bow or on the other side. Once it is cut, it's cut.

The difference is, when the law has been broken you will not find a present that had been wrapped up and hidden, only found after transgressing the law.

At times we think that way; we think that it is to our benefit so long as we only give the ribbon a 'little snip'. After all, we aren't taking a chainsaw to it like that other guy or ripping it to pieces like her. If necessary we can always wrap it back up again too.

To fulfill the law and act as a pure and blameless sacrifice Jesus had to not break a single statute or command of the law. Regardless of how appealing the 'gift' underneath, He said, “My father has a better thing, a better purpose, than for me to open that which I am not allowed.”

Jesus was made into an earthly vessel, a cup filled to the brim, given the whole of the law. He lived His life without spilling a single drop, and when the time drew near He drank of that cup and hung on the cross. He drank of my cup and your cup and took of the law of every human who ever has or would live that gave Him their cup when asked.

He drank of the mud and filth stirred up by all we spilled, and He took the law within Himself and said, “I will be your cup. I will take what you could not keep upon Myself that you might live; that you might run and dance and sing with joy and life.”

Awhile back I was working to memorize several worship songs so that I could sing praises whenever I felt like it or my mind began to wander away from the things of God and Christ to bring me back to a focus on Him. However it was very easy to get caught up with all the things that 'needed to be done' and I haven't been listening or memorizing of late.

I want to use my liberty to praise Him and worship freely with love and devotion, to love Him who first loved me with all my body, mind and strength, even when I am doing work that might so easily allow my mind to wander to things that might not be “bad”, but are certainly not Christ.

I want to keep my thoughts on the things of God even when my body works for Him but my mind has the liberty to be anywhere else.

I will copy down the lyrics to my iPod Touch and purchase the songs if possible so that I can look at them whenever wanting to sing but unable to remember the words and make sure to listen to the songs I am working on everyday.

Studies I'd like to share: Jaymi's, Randy's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.
Amen.

James 2:8, If you really fulfill the royal law. . .

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; NKJV
“Royal law”. . . I'll admit I don't often think of it as such. I don't disregard it or consider God's word as unimportant or intentionally less than it is; but how often do I actually think of it as a “Royal Law”?

We've been given liberty! Of course, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?” [Romans 6:1] But even so Jesus has given us liberty and made the law less important than it was, He both released it's hold over us and released us from any responsibility to it.

That's why James, the brother of Jesus and leader of the church in Jerusalem at the time, refers to it as “the royal law”.

Wait a minute. . .

“For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” [Galatians 5:13]

It turns out that what follows is (which caught me by surprise actually). . . “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!” [Galatians 5:14-15]

We have been given liberty through Christ, but that liberty is not an excuse to greater sin. Rather, by our liberty we have the freedom to serve one another with love, not for the chains of the law.

Beyond that, in tossing out the chains of the law do we, should we, is it right if we toss out the law itself? Should we in our love for God toss out utterly that royal and precious law He gave?

If you read the beginning of Galatians 5 you see that Paul comes to what he has to say about our liberty after first saying that circumcision, something the Jews and Paul himself once considered such an integral portion of the law, had no importance to salvation and that to think one must uphold the law or parts of the law to be saved was ridicules because if one part of the law had to be kept to insure salvation then the entire law had to be kept, and to claim that even a portion of the law HAD to be kept, as illogical as that would be, was a slap in the face to the sacrifice Jesus made to save us from the bondage of sin we were held to by the law.

In Mathew 5:17 Jesus Himself says that He did not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets but rather to fulfill them, and later in Mathew 22:37-44 Jesus, when asked what the greatest commandment is, says that the first and greatest commandment is ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ He then goes on to say that the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

He finishes these statements by saying this: that, “On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

In being freed from the law do we think that God would have us throw away His commands to love Him and others? Or by liberty are we freed from separation from Him that we may love freely by choice?

I will be spending some time in the sermon on the mount reminding myself of and relearning Jesus' teachings and instruction that I might better obey Him in love and devotion and be a better witness for His kingdom. I may make reading the sermon on the mount a regular aspect of my reading schedule.

Blog's to share: Jaymi's, Kayla's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.
Amen.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

James 2:6-7, But ye have despised the poor.

But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? NKJV

But ye have despised the poor. Do not rich men oppress you, and draw you before the judgment seats? KJV
Interestingly the original word here translated as “the poor” according to Mickelson's Enhanced Strong's Greek and Hebrew Dictionaries in the King James Version is “Ptochos”* and the original word for “rich men”, “Plousios”**. I could be mistaken, but it seems to me that based on their definitions James is not talking about 'those who have comparatively more and less than each other', but rather literally 'those who do not have' and 'those who have a great deal'.

I am going to focus my efforts in reading on “The Treasure Principle” and look for ways to bless those who have need.

Blog's to share: Kayla's


* G4434 πτωχός ptochos (pto-khos') adj.
1. a beggar (as cringing), a pauper
2. (figuratively) distressed
3. (literally, as a noun) strictly denoting absolute or public dependency on charity
{also used in a qualified or relative sense; whereas G3993 properly means only financial distress in private}
[from ptosso "to crouch", akin to G4422 and the alternate of G4098]
KJV: beggar(-ly), poor

** G4145 πλούσιος plousios (plou'-see-os) adj.
1. wealthy
2. (figuratively) abounding with
[from G4149]
KJV: rich

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 2:5, Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith

Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him? NKJV
Pray and refocus on raising support.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 2:2-4, For if there should come into your assembly a man

For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit at my footstool,” NKJV
It's so easy to judge by outward appearance, and more so to have our attention swayed by preference.

Who wouldn't prefer the rich man's company to the poor? The rich man is well dressed and no doubt well spoken, he keeps himself clean and well groomed. He has nice things and his wealth when first seen is a sign of character and wisdom, at least in business, and can only accentuate his no doubt great levels of charisma. Knowing such a man could potentially be a door to improving one's own lot in life, it could bring business from the man himself or by his recommendation of you to friends. If nothing else his mannerisms are good and his bright personality is fun to be around.

The poor man on the other hand is dirty and no doubt smells. His poverty when first seen is a sign of foolishness and laziness, or at least simpleness to have received such a lot in life, and regardless of if he isn't like many of the beggars just waiting for the opportunity to take of your good graces, even if he is a good and kind man that simply fell on hard times, the mud on his face distorts this. Being around him could harm your own reputation and business, and though you might be kind enough to look on him well others might not be so willing and make unfair judgments of you as a result. If nothing else his mannerisms are somewhat annoying and his cheerfulness seems fake and his voice too loud.

The truth is, all of our initial reactions could be true. The rich man could be good and kind, willing to give to the poor and mindful of others, wise and blessed by God in many little ways for his good stewardship. Not perfect of course, but definitely one who would make an excellent and good friend and counselor. Perhaps you would even need to be careful of not falling into a position of taking advantage and betraying his trust, though thanks to his wisdom and discernment the rich man might also be careful to not put others in such a position of temptation anyway.

The poor man might be rather rotten, thinking you a good opportunity to gain a little money or the church a good place to have the blessings of others poured on and to be used later, not wisely, but for alcohol and worthless trinkets he thought might be enjoyed. The worst sort of friend one could have unmindful of the needs of others and perfectly willing to sow strife or lie to your face if it might bring him some benefit. It might be that you truly wish to help him, but throwing money at fools or entering into business with them is not the wisdom God grants us nor the kindness he calls of us.

However, when the rich man and the poor man first walk through the doors, how can you know? The rich man may be well dressed, but his generosity could be a facade and he could have cheated that very same poor man, once such a great giver to the poor, out of all he owned; and the poor man may have forgiven him and moved on, choosing not to be consumed by bitterness and hurt but rather to continue seeking after the God he loves.

The fact is we can't know, and whether rich or poor we must use the same discernment God has granted us to judge them both and not fall too soon into a snare with either.

What if it is not a rich man and a poor man but two rich men or two poor men? What if they are both wicked? Or neither?

And how does their comparison help you in determining your relationship with either? What if two people are foolish? Should the fact that one may be more foolish than the other change that neither should be gone to for advice? If both are liars, but one twists words more often and with more skill than the other, can either be trusted?

And if your friends are kind and give wholeheartedly, should you show favor to the ones that are able to give more thanks to their own abundance? Should your favor change with the changing of their lot in life?

With ten books to choose from and only five minutes to choose before leaving the airport bookstore to catch a flight, the fact is some narrowing down will need to be done by covers. It isn't fair, there may be a genuinely good and wonderful book that could have become your all time favorite if only there was time to look at more closely which you will skip over first thing because its cover is less than appealing. At the same time, there is no point in opening oneself to temptation by even picking up the obviously racy novel, the cover of which you don't even feel comfortable looking at, because of some slim possibility that it is a well written piece of literature but with misleading imagery the publisher felt would improve sales.

Regardless of appearances we must obviously still show everyone kindness and the love of Christ whether their covers are exciting or bland or frightening or a little less-than-decent, whether we have the time to get to know them or only a few minutes while in the line at Starbucks; and we would not reject them from our lives unless they might actually draw us away from Christ as is sometimes the sad truth we must face, praying for them but keeping what distance is needed, lest we fall into temptation. [Mathew 26:41; Galatians 6:1]

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 2:1, My brethren. . .

My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. NKJV

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. ESV

My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. NASB
In Mathew 12:25 Jesus says that any kingdom which is divided against itself will be laid to waste, fall into ruin and be brought to desolation. Likewise any city or house that is divided against itself will not stand.

i.e. “Fall apart”

Not only are we all of the kingdom of God, we are literally one household. If Jesus says this of Satan, and it can already be seen so easily in homes all over the United States when actual families fall apart, then how true is it for our little home in El Salvador?

I have been showing favoritism to some, and, I don't know exactly what to call it, but the opposite of favoritism to others. It hasn't been in any major ways, it is mostly just a question of who I do and do not mesh well with, but it needs to stop. I don't want my partiality to cause even a sliver of discomfort or discontent within our house, for everyone or individuals, whether because they are not on the receiving end of that favoritism or even because they are.

If anyone feels like they have been affected by my partiality, whether it is simply a misunderstanding or a genuine result of my behavior directed towards them or others, I would like to apologize.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

James 1:27, Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this:

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. NKJV

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. NASB

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. ESV
To piggyback off my previous study for a moment, the original Greek word translated here as “Religion” is the same and can be defined as ceremonial observance.

Worship is not only singing a song to praise God, it is every act of praise we make. From washing the dishes and teaching Sunday school to babysitting and going to work, if it is God glorifying and done for Him with the right heart then it is an act of worship.

James writes that a ceremonial observance which is “pure and undefiled before God” is visiting orphans and widows in their trouble, i.e. caring for them, and to keep ourselves unstained by the world, i.e. free from sin.

He does not say lighting candles while chanting; he does not say reading through the Bible in a year or memorizing verses; he doesn't even say dressing nicely and singing songs. He says caring for those who have particular need and to keep ourselves holy, set apart from the world, is religion pure and undefiled before our God.

Blogs to share: Kayla's

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

James 1:26, this one's religion is useless.

If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless. NKJV
The original Greek for the words “Religious” and “Religion” found in verse 26 are defined as meaning ceremonious in worship (as demonstrative) and ceremonial observance respectively.

It is duplicitous to worship God yet not control the words that come out of our mouths.

God asks for our obedience before sacrifice.

Today I am going to make a point of waiting 10 seconds when I have something to say and before responding to anything someone says that is not directed specifically to me. I will wear a bandana around my neck, and if needed over my mouth, as a reminder.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 1:23-25, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror;

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of a person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. NASB
I spend way to much time getting ready in the morning. I know it doesn't directly relate to the verses, I first thought of this because of what the verses said about a man looking in a mirror, but reading through it again all the verses relate to my reasoning for why that time needs to be reduced.

Over the past several days I have been working on managing my time to spend more of it in the Word and prayer, as well as finding a better time for IBS. (Now that we've started doing them again I've worked on the last two studies in the car on the way to our day's ministry.)

We are called to be doers of the word and not hearers only, but I can't be a doer if I'm not making more time to at least be a hearer!

I've realized that a lot of my time is lost not in each task itself but rather in getting from one task to another, as well as getting myself organized after first waking up.

I am going to make a point of beginning my IBS first thing after waking up rather than showering or switching over the laundry, and I will work on streamlining my morning preparations; first of all by getting my towel, soap, razor, etc to the bathroom in one trip rather than bringing some of it over, realizing I forgot something, getting it, then realizing I forgot something else and going back, etc, etc, etc, plus whatever other things pop up that stop me in my tracks and keep me from that glorious watery goal. . . which I tend to take a tad too long using to relax and return to full consciousness anyway. Another thing to cut down and take back time with.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 1:22, and not hearers only,

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. NKJV
If one reads the word and hears it taught but does not apply it, yet thinks themselves a 'good Christian', one who follows the word of God and seeks after His will, then they are lying to themselves.

It is not enough to cling to the words of God and bury them in our hearts, to hoard His law and nature and teaching as gold on Sunday or Saturday or Wednesday or whatever day or days we go to church or read the Bible and yet not put them into practice.

God's word is not like gold to be stored up and spent on a rainy day. His gold is beautiful and perfect, fastened as jewelry and inlaid with precious stones and made into thread for the embroidery of our clothes and great tapestries with which we cloth our families and decorate our homes.

What good are gold and treasures too precious to spend but laid up in a dark place and hoarded, never to be seen?

We are not meant only to hear the word, to read the word, to be taught the word and study the word; the word is living and powerful and meant to be lived and displayed as powerful, lest we mistakenly think there is no wrong in making it seem empty.

I am going to begin making a genuine effort to start watching and listening to the English sermons and teachings I have downloaded so that I can receive regular teachings in the word.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

James 1:21, and receive with meekness the implanted word,

Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. NKJV
The Websters 1828 dictionary says this:

MEE'KNESS, n. Softness of temper; mildness; gentleness; forbearance under injuries and provocations.
1. In an evangelical sense, humility; resignation; submission to the divine will, without murmuring or peevishness; opposed to pride, arrogance and refractoriness. Gal.5.
I beseech you by the meekness of Christ. 1 Cor.10.
Meekness is a grace which Jesus alone inculcated, and which no ancient philosopher seems to have understood or recommended.

And of the word “meek”:

MEEK, a. [L. mucus; Eng. mucilage; Heb. to melt.]
1. Mild of temper; soft; gentle; not easily provoked or irritated; yielding; given to forbearance under injuries.
Now the man Moses was very meek, above all men. Num.12.
2. Appropriately, humble, in an evangelical sense; submissive to the divine will; not proud, self-sufficient or refractory; not peevish and apt to complain of divine dispensations. Christ says, "Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest to your souls." Matt.11.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Matt.5.

Of late I had forgotten that meekness was a virtue extolled by Christ.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls.” Matt. 11:29

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” Matt. 5:5

In the modern United States we tend to have a twisted view of meekness, and consider it more vice than virtue. Rather than a quality to seek out and desire, it is a sign of weakness and a passiveness that prevents us from reaching our goals and allows others to trample over us, a quality that guarantees all our dreams will be crushed.

But God wants to help us and guide us and for us to live our lives in the greatest and most fulfilling way possible under His divine will, the best life we can have*, yet Christ says that the meek will inherit the earth.

I want to consciously seek meekness in myself in daily life, and pray that God would lead me to meekness, that my character might become more in line with what God would have of me so that He can do all that He would do with my life.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

*Though he doesn't promise a life free of pain or hardship, and this is something very important to understand.

James 1:19-20, the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. NKJV
Generally it seems like people look at verse 19 and remember it in general terms. “It is good to be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath in general.”

We think of them as interrelated yes, but still individual pieces of advice, as independent virtues; and it is true that individually they are Biblical and “generally” sound pieces of advice. However, verse 19, in the New King James Version at least, ends with a semicolon and is followed by verse 20, beginning with the words, “for the. . .”

In other words, 'you should follow what verse 19 says because of what verse 20 says'.

The instructions of verse 19 build off of each other for one; being “swift to hear” encourages one to be “slow to speak”, and both keep one steady so as to be “slow to wrath”.

Being swift to hear means that you wait to form opinions until after having heard what others have said. You do not make a decision to quickly about a situation. You do not decide what to say about a situation. You wait and reduce the possibility of there being any miss-communication about what has happened or the things that someone has done. In many cases, being swift to hear can remove the very reason a person has for being wrathful because it reveals to them a deeper side to the problem.

Being slow to speak means that we consider our words and carefully consider what has happened and what the appropriate response for us to give might be, even if that means saying nothing at all. If nothing else it provides a delay that allows our initial reaction to cool and be considered.

Attempting to be slow to wrath is helped by being swift to hear and slow to speak, which also keeps us from producing wrath in others. However, being slow to wrath is a choice all it's own. It is a conscious choice to control oneself and to have control over one's emotions.

I will pray to God for strength and peace of mind and self control that I might be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath and filled with the patience and love that is in my Father in Heaven.

The wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Neither in ourselves nor through the revealing of God's work in our lives. I want to seek after His righteousness.

I pray
to God
that He brings
my heart
to want
what He wants
for the reasons
He wants it.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

James 1:7-8, For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. NKJV
A doubting heart should not expect answer to prayer from the Lord. How can one who doubts expect an answer? God may still answer, but when we do not fully believe that God will answer, how can we be surprised when He does not?

In my prayers by God's grace I will continually crush all doubt and I ask God to work in me as the master surgeon, cutting away all of those things which hinder my relationship with Him and produce doubt, which so often make my prayers weak and flimsy, hollow and without substance, 'safe' and 'small'.

I pray that God brings my heart to want what He wants for the reasons He wants it.

James 1:5-6, But let him ask in faith, with no doubting,

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. NKJV

God wants His children to act with wisdom, and to the best of my understanding would be quite happy with our asking for it. However, a doubting heart has no place asking, and no promise of receiving its request.

I have a two fold application from these verses, which I suppose follows nicely with their being two verses.

The first is that, while previously I had been keeping a small prayer notebook with me and asking the prayers I've written in it everyday, lately I have not been asking them after first grabbing it in the morning and forgetting about it later in the day because I switched to keeping it in my back pocket. The very first prayer I have written is, "Lord grant me your wisdom in action and thought. Let me bring glory to Your name." It makes me feel uncomfortable forgetting to ask for His wisdom beyond my own, and using my prayer notebook had been helping me remember to pray for other things as well and build up a stronger discipline of prayer.

I will be moving my prayer notebook into my front pocket again, even if the space is getting a little cramped with my wallet, passport and anything that would be a considerable problem to have stolen, so that I will be more likely to think of it later in the day and make sure to go over my prayers before sticking them in my pocket and thinking to ask them later.

The second thing I need to take from these verses is an exhortation to faith.

I began really praying for some of my friends a short time ago, and while doing so felt like I should try speaking with one of them about Christianity and what it really means to have a faith in God and Christ because some time after meeting her I found out that she 'used to be a Christian', but had since converted to Wicca. However, I was uncomfortable with it because I have never been very good at sharing the faith with my friends in the past, doubly so at the thought of our talk possibly coming to the subject of magic (of which, if I understand correctly, she does have tangible experience with), and the reality of her magic versus my God.

I asked God to help me, to use me in somehow opening her heart to a real relationship with Him and to trust and have faith in His guidance and support with or without some sort of 'go ahead' or 'confirmation' that I should speak with her. However, I was going to do that in the morning because it was late and I was getting ready for bed. At the same time, part of me was afraid that our schedule might delay my speaking with her and I was afraid of how time would affect my feelings and assurance.

Turning to my Bible I opened to Psalms 17, the first Psalm I was going to read that night (I have a nightly schedule for reading through Psalms in a month), and immediately looked at the words "Heed a just cause, O Lord, // Attend to my cry; // Give ear to my prayer which is not from deceitful lips. // . . . Let Your eyes look on the things that are upright."

I was still nervous, but resolving myself I unpacked my laptop and sent her a brief and unapologetic message asking about her change of beliefs.

I need to keep praying for God to give me the right words to say as our conversation continues and to trust in Him without doubting as time goes by, that He will answer my prayers and reach out to her heart.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

James 1:4, let patience have its perfect work,

But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. NKJV
Well, I am already getting impatient. We helped Trevor and Erika move today which was really good, but we had planned to go to a children's hospital after lunch. The problem is that on our way home the streets were crazy with all the rain and it was decided that because of how difficult it is to drive our giant van in the rain and traffic we would need to cancel this first trip to the hospital.

At first it was really disappointing, but while writing my journal earlier today I realized that thanks to our plethora of free time today I had finally been able to finish unpacking and get everything organized without stress or rush as well as spend some time on Rossetta Stone to work on my Spanish and even get some cleaning done around the house.

I need to keep trusting God that He has a plan and purpose for our time, whether that means our doing something big and obvious or feeling unproductive and unhelpful (regardless of if it is actually true or not), and keep praying for His hand to be upon our work.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

James 1:2-3, My bretheren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,

My bretheren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. NKJV
We're having a rather easy time of it right now all things considered. I'm utterly exhausted, but the storm has in many ways shut down the city and the people we are working with have had to put the initial schedule they had planned for us on hold.

It is a hidden blessing for us; the roads are easier to get through because fewer people are out, the stores are less busy allowing us to get the hang of wondering around as a group without losing people, the work is much less physically tiring than was planned and because there is much less work the days are shorter and we can figure out how to buy the food we need and things needed around the house. This storm is a disaster striking Central America and I pray for the eternal safety of those affected by it, but I must also thank God for allowing us the time to adjust and settle in and become accustomed to some of the basics of Spanish before being swamped.

I need to remember that "all things work to the good of those who love God and are the called according to His purpose". Not only that, but also how God has often worked through disasters to bring in the lost sheep and light fires in the souls of the saved for His work.

When I am faced with "disasters" that seem to stretch me to my limits I must remember that God in His perfection has a purpose even for the pains of a sinful and broken world and will pray for a peaceful and prayerful heart that can face those times with eyes turned towards God and a mind that is receptive of the things He desires, both for me to do and for me to learn.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

I'm back!

Apologies to all for my long blog absence. We were so busy that I had trouble finding the time (or more accurately, 'making the time') to actually upload my Bible studies after doing them.

Lo Siento, I'll admit that in all the busyness I got lazy about sharing them. I will be uploading slowly to catch up so that those of you who read on a regular basis will not have a large number appear all at once, likely at a rate of two a day, starting today, for the next few days until the blog is caught up.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

James 1:1, a bondservant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,

James, a bondservant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad:

Greetings.
I am gladly reminded of my position as a bondservant of my God and Savior. I will face trials and tribulations, attacks from the enemy and accidents on my part and on the part of others; some will be simple and some will appear more monstrous; some will give me very little trouble while others rub everyone and everything the wrong way.

I wish to focus on His blessings instead and be a willing vessel to be used for whatever He wants of me, regardless of how difficult of uncomfortable it appears.

At times I will be tired, or hungry, or even hurt, but I want to pray and remember what it means to be a bondservant; to work as a bondservant with a good and joyful heart of love and thankfulness.

I will also be going over my previous blogs that relate to being a bondservant as well as the notes I took during our time at Potter's Field Ranch as a reminder of what it means to willingly give all of myself to God, body, heart and soul.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Mark 1:2, I send My messenger

As it is written in the Prophets:
"Behold, I send My messenger before Your face,
Who will prepare Your way before You." NKJV
Although we are not a prophesied John the baptist preparing the way for the Messiah's coming, we are all messengers called to prepare the way into the hearts, minds and souls of unbelievers. Of course, it is the Holy Spirit who calls them to Christ, but by God's choice we are used to open the way for Him to enter into their lives.

I am going to be more mindful to watch for an opportunity to share the gospel in some way today, praying that God would make known an opportunity and give me His words to speak that, even if I can't see the fruit today, I might in heaven come to know that I was picked to play some small role in leading them to a relationship with Christ.

Lord give me courage. God willing, amen.

Now to His who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mark 1:1, the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. NKJV
The beginning of the good message of Jesus Christ, the son of God.

It's only been one full day, but I can already feel how easy it would be to fall back into old habits for this week that I'm home.

Jesus is my Christ, my redeemer and my savior, He is the Son of God and God Himself in all His glory, majesty and power. I will pray continually for His guidance and influence in this time that I am home and all the days of my life, for His hedge of protection to keep all of us who are participating in the IGNITE360 program safe from the attacks of the enemy and that we would have a good times with our friends and family, being well exhorted by their words and love, and as fully prepared to leave as the Lord would have us as a part of His good work.

The message of my Savior is good, and I will be faithful and trust in Him who is great, beautiful, merciful, just and abounding with perfect love.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Psalm 23:6, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
NKJV
This morning when I first looked at Psalm 23:6 I had actually thought about Janessa's IBS from yesterday, for which she felt her application should be to create a list of all the blessings God has given in her life to remember. I couldn't really think of anything else, and although it may seem like copying, I thought perhaps that is what my application would be as well, to remember the goodness and mercy that has followed me throughout my life.

However, in class today Pastor G spoke about 1 Corinthians 13, what love does; that love trusts when one has expectations of a person and those expectations are not met; and Mathew 18, for when expectations are continually not met and you become unable to keep trusting.

If the Lord promises that goodness and mercy will follow me all of my life, then goodness and mercy should be flowing from me as well; and if I dwell in the house of the Lord, then I should trust and follow His instructions.

There is someone back home who has done, and, unless something has changed in the past three months while I have been gone, continues to do, things that harm my relationship with them, cause serious harm to people who are important to the both of us, and draws them, and all of us, away from God.

This has been going on for some time and I did not know how to deal with it, eventually withdrawing from them as the only means I saw of protecting myself and relieving some of their stress that had been building at the time.

I need to first speak with Pastor G more on the general topic and ask His council on how to address this specific issue because of the complexities and complications involved with it; and then pray and fast a great deal asking for God's guidance; and then when I arrive home, as soon as I am able and the situation allows for it, confront this person, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me feel, both to apologize to them and others for my withdrawal and to, for lack of a better way to say it, "Mathew 18 'em", trusting God to heal our relationship and draw us both closer to Him.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Psalm 23:5, You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
NKJV
He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies; if the Lord has the confidence to let me sit down and eat, surrounded by those wishing me harm, then how much more peace should I have in the presence of my God as we prepare to leave, even if it is for another country to do things that I have never done, with preparations to complete that I might not even be aware of?

I can't know what will happen; or how things will happen; or what won't happen that, at least in my eyes, probably should have, but I will trust in God that He will do a good work, both in others and myself, and that He wants me in El Salvador as a part of that work. I don't know what is coming, but I will have peace and pray for God's blessing on all of us and the people of El Salvador, Costa Rica and Uganda as we prepare to go, and will make sure to give thanks and prayer whenever the devil begins planting seeds of worry or doubt within my heart, and trust in God's strength to keep such weeds from growing and choking out His good plants and the fruit He would have me bare.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Psalm 23:4, I will fear no evil; for you are with me;

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
NKJV
Despite the dangers that surround us and what evils may draw near to us, God is with us. God is bigger than any problem and stronger than any other thing residing in Heaven or on Earth, of spirit or of flesh, heavenly or demonic or any creature made.

Like David, the writer of this Psalm, being with God means that there is no need for us to fear. We are not promised a life without trial or difficulty, Paul in his later years and David in his early to middle years are certainly proof of this, and if we love Christ the enemy certainly has no love for us. Jesus said as much! (John 15:18-21)

But we need not be afraid because He has His plans in mind and motion. Even if we know where He is sending us, sometimes the fastest way there isn't the straight line we see. God uses hardships and trials and every twist and turn both good and bad in our life if we are seeking after Him to prepare us for His goals, and to accomplish what He intends along the way.

No matter how hard or painful the things of this life, we must simply keep trusting in God. Even if we can't see how any good comes of it, if we keep trusting and seeking, and it may be years and years down the road before we see it, there will be a glory that comes to His name. Besides that, even if we never see the fruit, reward or blessing of our struggles, our reward is not on Earth but in Heaven. (Luke 6:20-23)

We can take comfort both from God's rod and His staff, and notably the rod is not secondary to the staff. They are equal comforts for us. The rod and staff were tools of the shepherd; the rod had a two fold purpose of being used to discipline the sheep and as a weapon against wild animals, both to fight them and to frighten them off before they come near by throwing it to surprise and stun them, the staff was a tool to guide the sheep and hook them to pull them back into the fold when they were going astray.

Like David we can, and should, take comfort in God's defense and protection, His discipline, and His guiding, both gentle and firm.

I want to thank God for every blessing and trial, every little thing in my life He uses and has used to guide me and discipline me and grow me into the person He wants me to be, no matter how hard, and even as I continue to grow. I am fleshly, I have no doubt that there will be many times where in the moment I struggle, but I pray for His help in seeking Him and always being aware of God and Christ and the Spirit filling me.

Now to Him who is able to keep me from stumbling,
And to present me faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Psalm 23:3, He restores my soul. . . for His name's sake.

He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
NKJV
In the past I had a lot of trouble. I suffered from a major depression and walked through life like the living dead. I wanted to do good, and I know people saw me as always trying to do the right thing, but I was no testament to Jesus even if I wanted to be. We are called to be lights to the world, but I was more darkness than light, and you could barely call me anything at all. I professed Christianity if it came up, but I was a poor example of a 'renewed life'. I lacked joy and I lacked a life even though Christians should be more joyful and alive than anyone else.

I loved people, everyone, but often I would also hate them. They easily got on my nerves, and every little problem they had blasted at me like a fog horn, every little flaw glaring like the neon signs in Vegas. I cared about people, but I looked at many of them and could only think that they were the most aggravating things in the world. I hated myself even more because I didn't cover up my own flaws by looking at others, the two just brought each other into sharp relief. I hated hating people, and I hated hating myself, and this only made me hate me more.

My depression and loneliness became almost a comfort; I didn't know how to exist as 'myself' without them, I didn't know who I was without them. They were who I was, and I was too insecure, lacking the strength to try and conquer them or any of my other bad habits. I began wanting God to just 'fix me',

I knew what was right, what was good, not just in behavior but for how I should think, how Christ would think, and I couldn't do it. I was an insomniac, often laying awake for 2 hours, 3 hours, 4 hours, sometimes even 5 hours before finally waking up exhausted and unwilling to face the new dreary day, unaware of when I actually, finally, fell unconscious. I dreamed big, and I lacked the strength to even attempt making them a reality; on the rare occasions I did, it was usually a weak attempt doomed to failure, on other times I simply didn't know enough to make it work or faced what I am now sure were the attacks of the enemy. I did things which even at the time I despised myself for, knowing they were wrong but lacking the strength or will power to stop.

Whenever I started to get better and had felt a little hope, there was something that would pull me back down.

Depending on the night I could either be praying to God for sleep, crying out to Him that I could just be happy, or just screaming within my mind as tears ran down my face at the very thought of spending another several hours alone in the dark, only to open my eyes in the morning, unready to face another empty day, and eventually come to the next night and repeat the process again and again and again until God finally called me to heaven.

But I'm better now. There was no burst of glorious light that miraculously made me happy, though my current countenance is a miracle none the less. I decided to act on what I had already known for some time; God loves me, but He wouldn't fix my life if I wasn't willing to work towards being fixed, and I couldn't be fixed if I obsessed about how 'un-fixable' I thought I was and about every worry and trouble and stress that came my way.

Miraculously, I stopped worrying; there was still some exercise in self control I had to practice, as negative thinking and stressing were engraved in me from years of less positive practice, but I had a complete change in character that bringing about would have been impossible without God.

I was far from perfect, I still had a lot of problems and I still sinned, but I knew, not just with my brain but also with my heart, that I wouldn't be perfect so long as I was in the flesh, but I got a 'reset'. As I had thought and feared, I didn't know how to not be depressed, but I was ok with that.

I like learning, and even if it was clumsy, I spent some time learning to be alive. I didn't do anything crazy or break my principles. The only thing I did which was mildly bad was stop worrying about my English class, and that I had to do because it was something of the lynch pin of my problems, the most irrational, the most tangible and the most easily dealt with. I failed the class that year and payed for it later, but it wasn't a surprise. It wasn't something I fought against and was crushed by. My grade couldn't get me down because I wasn't failing anything, I just wasn't doing it. Nothing anybody said about my grades could get me down about it because I knew that I wasn't making a 'good' choice, but it was the best choice I knew to make.

I was severely broken, and rather than better I only seemed to be getting worse. A single grade for a single class, graduating requirement or not, was not worth the potential of the rest of my life. I began working at the things I knew I could work at, waking up in the morning; having a better countenance; drinking water; and being alive and interacting with life, even when I wasn't in the mood.

When my summer before my senior year was ending I joined the tennis team so that I would spend some time in the sun and get some exercise. I was one of, if not THE, worst players on the team, and I had the time of my life. I was bad, but I improved, and even if my improvement still left me behind everyone else, I closed that gap the tiniest bit. I don't know if you could say I was satisfied exactly, but I was content with not being great, or even just good. I just played to play and enjoyed it.

I got better at waking up for school; and although I still didn't always want to go to school, it was usually the much more normal not wanting to go that every other teenager in America faces at least once in their lives.

I began making an effort where I felt able without suffering some sort of stress induced breakdown. I began making an effort even when I thought it might be too stressful; sometimes I pleasantly surprised myself by, maybe having some trouble, but still accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish, and if I couldn't handle it yet, I backed off.

I put in more of a real (and mentally healthy) effort, and while I'll be the first to admit that it wasn't always quite as much of an effort as I probably should have made, it was a better effort nonetheless, and I managed to graduate. Barely, but I did.

My dad convinced me to go to the high school summer camp since it would be my last chance to go to one, and he can't begin to know how thankful I am. In the past I hadn't enjoyed myself at church camps and such and just stopped going. Now however I was able to handle people, to enjoy their company and not sit in the corner quivering in fear. I was reminded of God in my process of change, and that even if it wasn't how I had wanted it in when I was younger, God did have His hand in my life producing this change, and that He has a plan for me, even if I couldn't see it or at times even believe it, and that He could use my hardships and troubles in beautiful ways that I couldn't even imagine.

I began being more involved in church and with church people, and it was wonderful.

I went to college and started out by testing the waters, then filled my class load with everything I could manage. More than I could manage it turns out, I had to drop one of my classes eventually, but I enjoyed being busy and having my day filled up with people and work and learning things that I really wanted to learn and the feeling of independence that comes with spending your entire day at college and going everywhere by walking or taking a city bus! Most of the time anyway. ;)

I started reading the Bible on my own. I didn't know what to read, I didn't know how to really dig deep and study, and I didn't know when I would always have the time, but I took it with me and pretty much gave up reading novels on the bus in favor of 'the good book', and during a lot of my free time besides. I started out popcorn style. “God, I don't know what to read today, so I'm going to open to a random page and if you have anything in particular you'd like me to read please go ahead and get me there.”

Later I changed to reading through the book of Daniel, and from their another book, and another book after that.

To come back to the verse for today, Psalm 23:3 is:
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake.
I was crushed, and broken, and believed in God but had no joy in Christ. I did nothing more than cling to His existence as a reason to continue step after dreary step through a miserable self pitying life.

But I'm here now. I'm at Potter's Field Ranch. I'm finishing up three months of training; about to visit home for a week before shipping out; and so close to leaving for six months to El Salvador, on a mission trip, to help at an orphanage, with friends that are closer than I ever thought it was possible fore me to have, that I can hardly believe it.

I mean, give God thanks! I believed I was a few months away from physical testing and, if I passed, a contract with the Air Force, and was invited to come to an information meeting for a program called Ignite that involved training and a mission trip! I had already resolved myself to join the Air Force, my parent's were thinking I was joining the Air Force, I had just over a thousand dollars saved up and no way to pay for the costs of a mission trip, and I STILL couldn't resist going to see what the program was about and think wistfully about going on a mission trip before getting sucked into the busy busy 'life of an adult', with the added bonus of basic training and at least a six year contract with the military doing whatever the military has me do, hopefully enjoying it.

I have not only been forgiven, I know I am forgiven and feel forgiven and am able to forgive myself and others.

I am not a finished work, but I am a work that is improving and a work that will be exactly what God wants me to be, when He wants me to be it.

I went from heading alone into a secular world where I would be largely isolated and forced to struggle through the growing of my faith alone (at least in the physical sense), to four months of separation from the world and a time alone with God and my brothers and sisters in Christ, six months in another country working in thanks and faith for God and two months besides interning with my church.

I went from no future to a future that, while I still don't know what I'll be doing, I know will be for God and led by Him. I might be in full time ministry and working at the church or travel to another country as a missionary; I might start a company and witness through honest and Christ like dealings, I might draw Christian comics or animations or I might work as a waiter and live a very humble life ministering wherever God leads.

God has changed me. He has restored my soul and continues to restore me still, day by day when I am down and over all my life to bring me closer to Him.

He leads me to righteousness and a truer life of faith, that I might be a glory to His name.

I was a shame. I whispered His name in fear and was heard, but my light could not be seen. So dim, those that could see it would more likely mock for it's lack of strength rather than desire such a light themselves; but He has brought me close and lit a fire on my soul, pouring His holy oil over me continually that I might burn forever. He has called me to call His name, He has made me a witness to the people in darkness.

Christ has redeemed me for the glory of His name.

Now to Him who is able to keep me from stumbling,
And to present me faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Psalm 23:1-2, He leads me

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
NKJV
The Lord is my shepherd, for this I shall not want. God is my shepherd, the one who guides me and cares for me, who knows the correct path. I who am prone to wandering am brought to the green pastures and made to lie down. He prevents me from straying to the dangers of the mountain where the lions seek to devour me, to the forest where the bears would eat me. He leads me beside the still waters as we go, that I may easily drink, much safer still than the racing rivers where I may be swept away. Wolfs may come but He will protect me. My wounds, He will bind. The travels may at times seem hard, the distance long and fraught with pain, but my shepherd leads me, leads me still, and at journeys end green pastures I will find.

I do not wish to wander, I do not wish to stray.
My Lord is my shepherd, my master,
and with Him I always wish to stay.

I pray for His leading, and my willing following. He knows the perfect path to lead.

"Guide me as I spend time at home, please guide me when I have gone away."

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Isaiah 55:10-11

"For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. NKJV
God pours out His Spirit on us, and fills us with His word.

"None comes to the Son except through the father who calls him."

". . .it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

He sends us out as carriers of His word and messengers of the Spirit.

If we are following faithfully and do that which we are sent to, than God's will will be done. His will be done regardless, but if our work is of the Lord then it will accomplish exactly what He intends it to. 'Our' works, if they are truly God's, will prosper in the thing for which He sent it.

This means that, whether we are talking about witnessing to a single individual, heading a church or starting the biggest Christian movement this world has ever seen, big or small, great or simple, God's word through us will not return void, and will prosper in the way that He wills.

There may be hard times, we may not always feel we are accomplishing nearly as much as WE want to, but if it is truly God's will than regardless of the difficulties or at times seemingly lack of 'success' for the work (however one may wish to define it), it will be accomplishing exactly what God intends it to accomplish.

"Prosper" does not mean that He guarantees the Bible study He called us to start will grow into a mega church. It may, but it may not. God's will for what He calls us to may very well be that it starts from humble beginnings and remains a humble testament.

I want to keep seeking after His will for my life. To simply seek after Him and fill my heart with worship; content, needing only Him, with whatever purpose He may have for my life.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Isaiah 55:9

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. NKJV
"Lord grant me your wisdom in action and thought. Let me bring glory to Your name."

As we prepare to leave I am reminded that God's thoughts and plans are far above our own. Greater in breadth and greater in depth than anything I could ever manage, I need to pray for His continual guidance on my actions and thoughts so that I can respond to the world with a God given wisdom that would bring Him glory. For wisdom and discernment in my preparation to go to El Salvador, with the people to whom I'll be saying 'See you later' and 'Good bye', with the people who I will soon meet and with the use and raising of finances.

I want to be wise in my actions as a vessel for God's glory.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Isaiah 55:8

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. NKJV
I keep thinking about what I'll do. What I might do. What I can do. What I might be called to.

What God wants to use me for, how I'll get there, how God will get me there, what will happen between then and now, where He'll take me and when He'll take me there, the lessons I'll learn and trials I'll face and how they'll grow me to be more like God and the individual He wants me to be.

I want to do what God wants of me and I want what He wants to be amazing.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. . ." Mathew 6:33

I try, but it's hard and sometimes I forget, and this is a reminder. His thoughts are not mine, and my ways are not His.

If I'm seeking after the future then I am not seeking after Him, even if the future I'm seeking is a future in Him, living for Him.

Instead of thinking about what may be, I should be making my way closer to Him. He already knows what is in store for me and what He wants of me, and what ever that is, He can lead me and make the way.

The only thing He is calling me to is to seek after His kingdom and righteousness. Aside from that, God can work out the rest.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Isaiah 55:7

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, and He will have mercy on him; and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. NKJV
"Let him return to the Lord. . . and to our God"

As we near the end of our time at the ranch I am reminded to not become so caught up in preparations of leaving, questions of what will be done upon returning home, and a bubbling curiosity, anticipation, fear and excitement as we come ever closer to our six months in El Salvador that I forget my God and place Him on the back shelf in all the rush.

I need to be careful that I don't become so focused on the leaving that I forget the here and now, or so intent on being 'ready' that I forget God is the only one who can make me truly anything even close to ready.

I'll be careful to not forsake my time in the Word for time to get ready; careful to not take action and forget prayer or allow myself to be so hurried that it feels as though their is no time for prayer (which is really when I will need prayer most of all anyway).

I'm not going to forget that this really is God's trip, and He's just letting me come along for the ride.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Isaiah 55:6

Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near. NKJV
In hard times we call upon the Lord. In our destress we cry out to Him for strength and saving grace. When He seems far to us and our souls are troubled we pray and seek after Him.

But is that the only time we pray and seek?

We should take our joyful and untroubled times to seek after Him and enjoy His presence to the fullest. Just because times are good does not mean that we should stop praying for His provision.

It's really easy to, when everything seems to be going well, 'let God take a break'.

"It's so easy, I shouldn't be asking God for help with that. He has much more important things to do!"

"This will be easy enough. No worries God, I have this covered."

". . . huh? Oh, I hadn't even thought about praying for this. I guess it couldn't hurt. . . but let's make it fast, ok?"

But why wait for disaster or the onset of insecurities to bring us running back to God? The Christian life is not promised an easy life, and those who walk with God are often the target of the enemy.

I want to learn the discipline to pray for protection and provision, even in the little things, and His continued presence, not only when I am having a bad day, week, month or year or a friend or neighbor is facing troubles, but also when everything seems perfectly fine and my joy in Christ is profound and deeper than deep.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Luke 17:10

"So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'" NKJV
In other words, when following God's will we should be 'saying', at least to ourselves, "I am not worthy of thanks. I am doing only what I am meant to do."

I know that there is no "out-blessing God", but this verse makes me wonder just 'how much' I am doing in my daily life and walk with God.

Now, the verse is not saying that if we do only the bare minimum we are unworthy of thanks; the point is that we are only servants of God and therefore it is our duty to do what He asks of us and calls us to. However, am I doing all that is my duty?

Obviously not since I am not perfect, in the flesh I sin and must repent for disobeying and continually seek after being more like Him, but aside from the things I should not do, are there any things I should do that I do not? Do I really fulfill every role of my duty to the best of my ability?

Even if I can't 'out-bless' God, I want to do everything I can for God, not that I can really do anything for God aside from being a willing tool, but at least that much, as best I can, in all I can, in thanks and gratitude for all that He has done for me.

I am going to pray about what greater services God may want of me that I am blind to in the flesh, and that He would reveal more opportunities to be used by Him, in big ways and small.

With that, I have been drawing on invite cards for an evangelical outreach called Skull Church* over the past week to make them more personal, and had resolved to work on one every day, but have fallen out of it already. It doesn't take more than a few minutes to work on one, so finding a few minutes during a break isn't very hard, but being busy I began considering it too much of a bother. I'll make a point of working on them again, and pray that God would like to use them in some way.

*Not something weird. Skull Church is referring to Golgotha, the hill of Christ's crucifixion. It is focused primarily on drawing in teens and young adults to the church and ends with a guest band and concert, but begins with worship and moves into a gospel message told straight and without unnecessary theatrics. (website at skullchurch.com)

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.